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My Aha Moment

My Aha Moment

I remember the day when I realized there was something distinctive about the feminine soul!  I had just finished eight counseling sessions back to back and found myself having a ground-hogs-day feeling. While each of the women I had just counseled and coached had her own distinctive story and personality, each woman was struggling with very similar emotional and behavioral challenges that were keeping her from making important changes in her life!

That’s when I had my “AHA” moment…

There is something distinctive about a Woman’s Voice!  While psychotherapy was developed based on a gender-neutral position, we are in so many ways, uniquely different from our male-counterparts. The way we learn, navigate life, make decisions, absorb information, take risks and understand our history is often different and grounded in the unique nature of our feminine soul!

I started pulling out all of my case notes from the previous years and began documenting the similarities amongst the women I have had the great privilege of journeying with as a counselor.  There it was again…a series of patterns and struggles that were common among many of the woman I had journeyed with!

So I began to put together therapy exercises and coaching tools to see if I could help woman change, what I believe, are the more common struggles of our feminine souls, and help women unleash the AMAZINGNESS of who they were created to be.  These tools, thoughts and insights are designed to be more gender-specific!  I am not saying that these ideas and tools are not also relevant to men.  Many of the men I have had the honor of journeying with have had similar life-struggles.  However my lifework, my ministry calling, is to dedicate more of my energy and focus towards understanding the feminine soul, and helping women find their VOICE through these insights I continue to observe.

In 2015 I determined that I would spend the remainder of my career devoted to creating a clearer understanding of the unique life challenges of the feminine soul, and empower women by helping them Find Their VOICE,  based on three areas of observation…

……What I have learned and continue to learn from the thousands of women I have worked with in the last 25 years of clinical experience

….What I have learned and continue to learn from women who have FOUND THEIR VOICE!

….What I have learned and continue to learn from my own faith and life journey!

Since I have been speaking about these topics for several years, particularly about helping women find their voice, I am often asked, “What are the emotional shifts that women need to make in order to find their Voice?

Here’s a sneak peek of the emotional shifts every woman needs to make in order to find her VOICE, as well as a sneak peek of upcoming blog posts:

 

  • VOICES…who are you listening to?  Women tend to absorb Voices along the way and these Voices play a SIGNIFICANT role in how we engage others, our work and our emotional lives.
  • RISK TAKING…over and over women hold themselves back because they have not acquired the intuitive tendency to manage risk!
  • UGLY-BEAUTIFUL…understanding how to translate difficult experiences in your life into powerful moments.
  • SHREWD AS A SERPENT, INNOCENT AS A DOVE…we need to learn how to balance our tendencies towards “not rocking the boat” with “knowing how to make a meaningful ruckus!”…without feeling guilt.
  • CONFUSING KINDNESS, LOVE AND PATIENCE WITH A HIGH TOLERANCE FOR CRAP…there is just no other way to say this my friends!
  • MOVE OUT OF THE SHADOWS AND INTO THE PUBLIC VIEW.
  • LEARNING HOW TO SAY “NO” SO THAT THEY CAN SAY YES TO THEIR LIFEWORK
  • PERFECTIONISM…how it keeps women from taking risks, advancing their career possibilities, moving into leadership, finding their lifework and finding their VOICE!

I look forward to the possibility of helping you FIND YOUR VOICE!!!

 

 

DIALOGUE QUESTION:  Do you relate to and identify with the above emotional shifts needed to find your VOICE?  If so, how?

I look forward to your thoughts, comments and dialogue!

If you have found this post helpful or insightful, please share it with the women in your life!

20 Comments

  • LIZ RAMIREZ Posted September 5, 2016 10:35 pm

    Wow Margo this is very refreshing to remind my self of how challenging finding our voice can be buy not impossible I find that we tend to be such people pleasers not only to our family and friends but sometimes even willing to do more for strangers than for ourselves…thanks for sharing love to read your perspective and apply it to my shifts that I have made to find my happy place and realizing that in order to accomplish this I may not make others so happy.

    • Margo Tirado Posted September 6, 2016 9:43 am

      Thank you Liz for sharing your thoughts! People pleasing is a pattern many of us struggle with. Especially we women-of-faith, since we often believe that saying “yes” works in tandem with being generous, kind and loving. I have also found that often the Spirit will lead us to saying “No” and that this can also be a loving, generous and kind response.

      Your VOICE is as essential to your world as the next person’s VOICE.

      Thanks for sharing and generating a dialogue that has inspired my third blog post: “A Generous No”!

  • Amanda Posted September 6, 2016 1:41 pm

    Extremely insightful and very resonant. I can see myself in many of these patterns!

    • Margo Tirado Posted September 6, 2016 4:06 pm

      Thank you Amanda for sharing your thoughts. Perhaps the distinctiveness of your feminine soul feels heard 🙂

  • Tam Posted September 7, 2016 10:37 am

    Margo-What a great summary of your quiet, but thought provoking guidance. Your words still play inside my head. While I know I have SO much to truly learn, you’ve been a force inside my yearning to move forward in my life.

    • Margo Tirado Posted September 8, 2016 11:30 pm

      Thank you Tam for sharing your thoughts and contributing to the dialogue. It’s a privaledge to think I have contributed even a small amount of encouraging to your life’s journey!

  • Sarah Pattara Posted September 7, 2016 11:48 am

    This blog was water for my soul and God knew I needed this today! Thank you Margo!! I am at a hospital in Springfield attending to my 97 year old mom who recently had surgery to repair a broken hip. If there was ever a life situation to practice the Voice I have discovered…..this has been it. Found myself saying a huge YES to each “emotional shift” you describe! Practicing these healthier responses in light of circumstances that have power to ‘take us back’…….Grace has empowered me to write a new chapter in “Ugly Beautiful”. Nothing easy about it, but having a Voice is keeping me sane!

    • Margo Tirado Posted September 7, 2016 7:57 pm

      Dearest Sarah,

      Thank you for your courageous heart that was willing to share your current journey with other women. Your VOICE works in tandem with the Holy Spirit. Listen to it. Follow it. It will carry you towards wisdom in the decisions ahead of you regarding your mom.❤️

  • Barb Posted September 7, 2016 3:02 pm

    Love this, Margo…and so excited to see what more is to come from your wisdom and beautiful spirit.

    While I agree with all of your insights, I especially loved this one, as I believe I suffer from this:

    CONFUSING KINDNESS, LOVE AND PATIENCE WITH A HIGH TOLERANCE FOR CRAP…there is just no other way to say this my friends!

    ??

    • Margo Tirado Posted September 7, 2016 7:15 pm

      Hi Barb,

      Thank you for sharing your personal insights. We women of faith so desire to exhibit kindness, generosity & patience. However, sometimes there is a fine line between that spiritual desire and tolerating behavior that we should be saying a loud “NO” to.

      More to come!

  • Debbie Posted September 7, 2016 6:18 pm

    This post is very encouraging, Margo! I especially resonate with the perfectionism issue. Seems to get in the way of going forward in a lot of ways. I’m looking forward to reading more posts!

    • Margo Tirado Posted September 7, 2016 7:03 pm

      Thank you Debbie!

      The “Tiara syndrome” – the need to have all things just perfect before we move into action, is something most of us struggle with. Yet, messy is beautiful. Thanks for your comment and dialogue.

  • Jen Posted September 7, 2016 8:54 pm

    Thank you. Just… Thank you. I am excited to hear more.

    • Margo Tirado Posted September 7, 2016 9:01 pm

      Jen…It’s so good to hear from your VOICE! Your welcome!

  • Sherry Posted September 8, 2016 7:06 am

    Hi margo
    Thank you for helping me find my voice. For not being afraid to speak my truth. For giving me the courage to do so. You have been a blessing in my life. Thank you.

    • Margo Tirado Posted September 8, 2016 10:28 pm

      Sherry,

      You are AMAZING and it’s been an honor to support you in helping you find your VOICE! Continue to be courageous in your journey. I have complete confidence in you❤️

  • Annette Posted September 8, 2016 9:06 am

    Thanks, Margo, for sharing these insights. It’s startling to see oneself in some of these descriptions, but also necessary in order to start overcoming some of these hurdles. I look forward to more of your insights…

    • Margo Tirado Posted September 8, 2016 10:35 pm

      Thank you for contributing to the dialogue Annette! Yes, our feminine souls can relate to the list of emotional shifts one must make in order to find your Voice! I find that in naming them, knowing them and owning them is not only powerful but liberating!

      Thanks for sharing…by doing so it invites other women into a mutual space of namimg, knowing and owning!

  • Jacque Carter Posted September 8, 2016 3:43 pm

    On this journey…it’s hard, messy, and at times I feel lost because of territory I have never explored in me. I appreciate women who are a step ahead of me.
    Thank You
    Jacque

    • Margo Tirado Posted September 8, 2016 11:19 pm

      Thank you Jacque for sharing and contributing to the dialogue. You are an AMAZING woman and I look forward to our journey ahea.

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